Etiquette plays an essential part in everyone’s lives. It’s a simple code of rules we are taught from a young age and continue to learn even into adulthood. It ultimately helps us be courteous and kind to others. During the pandemic, our etiquette had to evolve. The first thing to go? The handshake. Actions that would also once be considered rude, like checking in on the guestlist before accepting an invitation, became a social norm. After all, safety first was, and still is, paramount.
As the world begins to return to normal, the policies of etiquette are shifting once again. With companies returning to the office, business trips starting up, and event season in full swing, even just greeting an acquaintance can be a social minefield. From an awkward fist bump to a tense kiss on the cheek, what one person might be happy with and see as considerate might make the other uncomfortable. Although relieved to be returning to some sense of normality, many may struggle with this transitional period. “Following Covid, protocol put into place shows you care about other people,” says Myka Meier, a two-time best-selling etiquette author and founder of the Plaza Hotel Finishing Programme in New York City. “It’s considered good manners to wear a mask when asked, to keep distance from others when relevant, and to stay home when not well,” Meier adds.
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We must remain aware of our surroundings, especially when the rules of engagement aren’t clear. “If you are meeting friends, look around and see how people are greeting one another,” advises Rosemin Manji, a presenter and the founder of RR&CO Luxury Advisory. Speaking up and stating your own personal safety boundaries is also considered courteous. “I put my hand above my collarbone as a gesture of hello. It’s different ways of still being respectful, of greeting people and acknowledging them without having
a physical touch,” adds Manji.
Living in a multicultural society, like that of the Middle East, we are used to interacting with people of different backgrounds. “We still need to be mindful of what social and cultural bubbles we operate in, as well as others. When we are able to do this, we can form stronger relationships and greater tolerance and understanding,” says Anna Al Qasimi- Roberts, the founder of Achievher, a mentoring space for women. This is even more valid with advances in technology and the rise of online and social media. The world of online brings us closer together. It also means we represent ourselves not just physically but virtually as well. “Everything you post, and each comment should be well behaved, as it is staying online forever. Social media intelligence is a thing,” explains designer Yasmin Al Mulla. Politeness online is known as ‘netiquette’, which is a portmanteau of ‘net’ and ‘etiquette’. It refers to the need for courtesy and politeness when communicating with others online for emailing, Whatsapping and using social media.
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One of the biggest debates in modern-day etiquette arises – the proper use of phones in social situations. “We get so caught up and addicted to our phones. It’s not a bad thing. Most of us, including myself, run our entire lives through our phones,” says Manji. From managing your work, life and personal communications, many find that they can’t simply put their phones away. “It’s really important to be present. If you are in a meeting or at a dinner, you need to be aware,” advises Manji on when you should be turning your device on mute. The online world is different to reality. “You have to be very cautious of how you write to people,” cautions Manji. Just because you are online doesn’t mean that in all circumstances you can be informal. It is also important to represent yourself well and consider how much you choose to share on your channels. Especially over lockdown, many of us were following the lives of our peers on the
likes of Instagram. “We can sometimes get caught up in social media where you actually think you know the person,” says Manji. When meeting that person in real life, respect their boundaries, even if you know what they ate for breakfast that morning.
With the ease of Covid restrictions and event season busier than ever, socialising with new groups is inevitable. Whether for work or leisure, it’s always crucial to make an excellent first impression. “Hospitality is a huge thing for us Arabs,” says Al Mulla. “Generosity and honouring our guests are our top priority throughout the whole event. We want everyone to feel welcome, and most importantly, to feel at home.” Alongside not using your phone during a conversation, Al Mulla advises: “Speak in a language that is accessible to everyone, never talk while you eat, and it is never okay to photograph the guests without their permission.”
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Understanding different cultures is how the world functions. “When you’re travelling, it’s really important to know what customs there are in the different countries you’re travelling to,” says Manji. Meier agrees, adding: “When I travel to another country, for instance, I always want to adjust to what is deemed respectful to others while in their culture.” There is a lot of information online about this, so there’s no excuse not to do your research. “The way you dress, dine and greet others can drastically change. The general rule of thumb to remember is to practise the etiquette protocol of the country you are travelling in, which in turn shows that you respect their culture,” says Meier. Across the globe, etiquette is constantly evolving. “If we used all of the same etiquette put into place from previous generations, it simply wouldn’t be relevant anymore,” explains Meier. This isn’t to say we should brush aside all of the traditional and more formal practices of etiquette. They still serve for a time and a place, but should just be adapted to the culture and country you visit. “It’s important to educate yourself and learn what modern etiquette entails – from social graces, business and dining to networking, dressing and travel,” says Meier.
In day-to-day life, etiquette isn’t as strict as it once was. It’s about how we conduct ourselves, rather than judging others. The focus is on being polite more than knowing how to sit like a royal or fold napkins into swans. However, when it comes to business, the same can’t always be said. Accidentally causing a faux pas in front of someone who might notice and respond could be the difference between scoring that promotion or signing that big deal. Keeping on top of etiquette so it feels like second nature means you can focus on the deal’s details rather than how you should be holding yourself. Learning or refreshing your etiquette skills has never been easier. “You can brush up on your etiquette if it’s about setting tables or how to use your fork or knife with YouTube tutorials, and there’s even some Instagram accounts you can follow,” advises Manji. The online world also means you can access finishing schools from across the globe and take one of their courses, like Meier’s Beaumont Etiquette Online Finishing Programme. Aiming to enhance social skills, it also “teaches you how to become the most polished and confident version of yourself.” As we re-enter society as we once knew it, and start booking adventures to far-flung destinations, proper etiquette is key to having a positive experience and, more importantly, a protected one.
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