There’s something exciting about the clean slate of a new year. It promises fresh starts, opportunities for reinvention, and the chance to become the version of ourselves we’ve always dreamed of. But how often do those resolutions lose steam by February? The truth is, resolutions often fail because we set them without intention.
This year, let’s rewrite the narrative. It’s not about a list of rigid goals but about setting intentions that resonate with who we truly are. We can cultivate lasting change and growth. Here’s how to set intentions that stick and feel authentically you.
Drop the "New Year, New You" Cliché
The idea that we need to become a completely new person every January is a bit of a scam. It suggests we’re not good enough as we are, and that’s simply not true. Instead of trying to reinvent yourself, focus on growth. Ask yourself: What’s one thing I want to build on this year? Maybe it’s more patience, better boundaries, or finally giving your creative side hustle the attention it deserves. Whatever it is, let it come from a place of self-love, not self-criticism.
This is where some of the timeless wisdom of Stoic philosophy can help. Ancient Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus weren’t about changing everything at once. They were about refining your character over time - building on the virtues you already have rather than completely reinventing yourself. So, forget about becoming someone new; think about becoming a better version of yourself.
Intentions Over Goals
Goals can feel a bit rigid - clear, measurable, but often limiting. Intentions, on the other hand, are fluid. Where a goal might be "lose 2 kilograms," an intention could be "treat my body with kindness and care." The difference is that intentions allow for flexibility. Life happens, and things get messy. But with an intention, you’re less likely to quit when things don’t go perfectly.
Taoism, an ancient Chinese philosophy, emphasises this idea of living in harmony with the natural flow of life, instead of trying to force rigid outcomes. The idea is not to fight against the current but to flow with it. By setting intentions that align with who you are, you’re able to adapt when life throws you curveballs, rather than feeling like you’ve failed because your goal didn’t come to fruition exactly as planned.
Ritualise Your Intentions
It’s easy to lose focus when intentions feel abstract. That’s why creating rituals around them can be so powerful. If your goal is to stay connected with friends, schedule a regular Sunday coffee date or set up a group chat for daily check-ins. If mindfulness is your focus, start each day with a short meditation. Rituals transform vague ideas into actual habits.
There’s a reason why people have been creating rituals for centuries - rituals make the intangible tangible. By embedding your intentions into your daily routine, they become a natural part of who you are, rather than something you need to "try" to remember.
Anchor Intentions in Meaning
If you’re going to set an intention, make sure it has real meaning for you. Don’t do it because it’s something you “should” do or because it’s on someone else’s list of what’s trending. Ask yourself why this matters to you. For example, if your intention is to journal more often, think about the deeper reasons. Is it to feel more connected to your creativity? To clear your mind? To have a daily space to process your emotions? When intentions have personal meaning, they’re much harder to abandon.
This is where the wisdom of thinkers like Viktor Frankl comes in. Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, wrote about how people can find meaning in the most difficult circumstances. His core message is that meaning doesn’t come from external achievements or what others think of you; it comes from what you make of your life. Anchor your intentions in something meaningful to you, and they’ll have staying power.
Embrace Micro-Momentum
Big changes are overwhelming, and setting massive resolutions can often feel like setting yourself up for failure. So, start small. If your intention is to be more active, start with a five-minute walk each day. If you want to write a book, begin with just one sentence a day. Small wins build momentum and make bigger achievements feel more natural over time.
This approach is at the heart of habit formation science, which shows that small, consistent actions are far more effective in building lasting change than large, drastic shifts. Tiny habits add up and before you know it, those little moments of progress start snowballing into something much bigger.
Track Your Wins (Even the Small Ones)
Acknowledging progress, no matter how small, is incredibly underrated. Keep a journal, use a habit-tracking app, or put sticky notes on your mirror to mark every win. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how tiny. Progress is about the journey, not perfection.
Positive psychology - this whole field that looks at what makes life worth living reminds us that focusing on the small wins is key to long-term happiness. It’s easy to overlook those little victories, but when you acknowledge them, you build your confidence and motivation. It’s all about shifting the focus from what you didn’t do to what you did do.
Be Kind When You Falter
Spoiler alert: You’re human. You’ll slip up, miss a day, or fall off track. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, get curious: What threw you off? What can you learn from this? Intentions are living, breathing things. They’re not meant to fall apart the moment you miss a day. The key to growth is recognising that it’s messy. Lean into it.
This is where the practice of mindfulness comes in - particularly the way it encourages compassion towards yourself. Buddhist teachings, for example, suggest that we should treat ourselves with the same kindness we’d offer a dear friend. When you falter, don’t judge yourself harshly. Treat yourself with patience, and remember that setbacks are part of the process.
Call in Accountability - But Make It Chic
Accountability doesn’t need to be about guilt-tripping friends into checking in on you. It can be about connection and support. Share your intentions with someone you trust, join a community that shares your goals, or document your journey on social media. Accountability is just another form of connection, and it can be empowering when approached in a way that feels motivating, not shaming.
This goes back to the idea of philia, a concept from Aristotle, which describes the deep friendships that help guide us toward becoming better versions of ourselves. Surrounding yourself with people who align with your intentions can help keep you on track, and the connection you create becomes just as important as the goals themselves.
Let Go of the Timeline
At some point, we’ve all internalised the idea that if we don’t achieve something by a certain date, we’ve failed. That’s not true. Intentions don’t come with an expiration date. They’re a commitment to yourself, not a race. Give yourself permission to go at your own pace. Life isn’t a sprint - it’s a marathon, and the beauty is in the process, not the finish line.
Revisit and Reassess
Life changes, and so will your intentions. The beauty of setting intentions is that they can evolve as you grow. Set aside time to check in with yourself regularly. Ask: Is this still serving me? What needs to change? Adjust as needed. Growth is a lifelong process, not something that only happens in January.
This flexible, evolving approach mirrors the idea of samsara in Hindu philosophy, which views life as a continual cycle of growth, death, and rebirth. Just as the seasons change, so can your intentions. They should be allowed to grow with you, shifting as your needs and circumstances evolve.
By combining timeless wisdom with modern ideas, we can approach our New Year intentions in a way that feels more real and sustainable. Forget about rigid goals that lead to burnout. this year, focus on intentions that evolve with you, reflect what truly matters, and help bring more balance and alignment to your life.
